From dating a tall guy to a short one


24-Jan-2017 12:56

Our father-daughter relationship was more like a typical father-son relationship. I was also a dancer and heavily involved in the performing arts which attracts a wide variety of characters.

My mom hated seafood so we would often go get fish together and make fun of people at work, school, etc. I always made sure everyone felt welcome and included.

He shared some of his negative experiences with African-Americans and how they treated women in the Marines and what he felt the view of white women dating black men was.

The email contained conditions for us working things out beginning with “you have to agree not to engage in this kind of behavior again” meaning that I would have to agree not to date black guys.

Some shrugged it off as being a typical reaction and just part of the everyday racism they experience as a people.

Others said Aaron and I should have known what we were getting into.

I called my Dad in early to December to break the news- I was bringing a guy home for the holidays. He told me that was not acceptable to him, he was disappointed in me, and there was no way I was bringing Aaron over. A week later my dad sent me a text saying he was opting out of my life. Here I was in an interracial relationship living naively (I guess) to the world and even my own family. Maybe this had to do with his North Carolina upbringing, his time spent in the Marines, or something in his life pre-Ashley? I was emotionally drained and therefore emotionally unavailable and I think it became obvious I wasn’t being honest. My legs were shaking under the table and my teeth were chattering as I explained everything.

The reactions of my black friends and coworkers were the most interesting.

I politely responded saying that I appreciated the explanation, but that these were not terms and conditions I was willing to live by.

All of the key players in my life had very different reactions to me having a black boyfriend. My sister pulled away from me in a big way after this incident fearing also being exiled by my father.

He had every right to be sad, angry, pissed off, frustrated, or just instantly “over it”.

The conversation quickly fizzled and I walked away knowing my pain was now his too and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

Your parents are supposed to be the only people you can count on to love you unconditionally.



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